Paralyzed.

So far I have been doing nothing much. Holidaying. Which consists of lazing around the house doing random things. I watched series on PPS, a bit of TV when there's something interesting on, feeding the new baby (puppy that is so young) and bringing it out to poop and pee and poking it, just started to go out with friends, eat and eat, a little facebooking and also trying to do some reading of the novels that I need to finish for my next semester. The reading is not that fun because I lost interest in reading novels since dunno-how-long-ago and these classics are even worse.

One kinda hype thing is that I found the novel The Scarlet Letter which is not found in KL. And it's found in Borneo! *In your face!* :P It's just good la no need to print it out and bind it.

Now the thing is to read them all. GAH. Poems still ok because they are short. But NOVELS!!!!

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I don't like facebook because it is a place where I see the people that hurt me the most and I cannot delete them from my list because it will aggravate them which I seriously don't understand because they hate me so much and it seemed like they care whether I delete them or not.

I don't like twitter because hardly anyone interacts with me there so there's no point in putting up anything because no one bothers to respond or care to whatever that happens to me.

Another conclusion: West Malaysians do not know the art of caring for people as much as East Malaysians do.

You West Malaysians don't feel it. But we do. And it's not like we keep asking to be loved and not taking the initiative to love others. But we do keep loving but it seems like they are the ones who are hard to open up to receive and give also. And it's only in small little acts of care and love. And it is not expensive at all.

And with all the hell that I have been through, I will dangerously stereotype that West Malaysians are CRAZY and I hate them. But I can't because I love the ones in church. Sorry to say, it's the non-Christians who keep coming with huge knives and stab me in the open and behind me back and even when I'm sleeping.

And, Lord, when will the hurting ever end? I want to move on and I feel paralyzed by the pain T.T