Face it, this is me. But am still changing.

Honestly, I have high standards. I can be quite kiasu but I am trying to control and perhaps kill it but I still will have high standards to achieve high.

I kind of always aim for the best, want the best and perhaps my problem is to want the best too soon forgetting the price and the time I need to spend to cultivate or achieve it. But I do have my standards and I don't take illegal short cuts to it. If there is a more efficient way to do it, I would love to know and would not be able to stand people who doesn't use it which blocks my way to it. But I have been trying to cultivate the grace and the mercy to be patient with people about it. But if the person stands in my way I still cannot stand it and would try as much as I can to make things better.

As I said earlier, I want things to be efficient, fast and on time. I can't stand people who wastes time, who is not on time, who cannot fulfil their promises, who FORGETS appointments (do you know it hurts to always be forgotten?!), who isn't committed, who can come up with ideas but does not rationally think whether it can be carried out or not (who doesn't count the cost or the ability of the current resources), who are impractical and inconsiderate and selfish, who dominates everything, who doesn't listen to people, who aren't open to other's ideas and all others which everyone else doesn't like. There are moments when I do understand that people tend to get too busy or stressed that they forget things once in a long while for good reasons. But if they forget things and turns up late and break promises a tad to many, can you trust them? Can you even depend on them?

I believe there are times to be crazy and there are times that we need to be serious. Even if we want to lighten up during serious times, there is a degree which we should lighten up so that we are not overtly crazy until the work gets distracted and the work flow blocked.

I believe that if you have nothing better to say, if you don't want to be frank, then shut up and even if you want to say bad things behind my back, you'd have to make sure with your life that it won't get into my ears. But in the end what goes around comes around so if you don't want me to know that you say bad things behind my back, just shut up and keep it to yourself. Or go and find a random stranger in a chatroom that claims to be in timbuktu (somewhere unknown and far away) so that it won't come around. If you come around trying to deter me from my aims and goals, better get prepared to be shot down or shut up.

Saying all of these, I know sometimes there are times we wanna just escape and just relax a bit. Like now I malas want to think of other stuff I wanna say anymore. But when I am committed, I AM committed. If I am not, I am obviously not. I have my faults and flaws and some, I am aware while some others I am not aware. Those that I am aware of, I do work on changing while others, I need other's patience and gentleness to help me change and also time. Sometimes I do put up too high an expectation on everyone including me and this is also a hurdle I need to try to get across. So yeah. This is me, face it, but I am still changing.