A Girl's Desire

In every women, there is a desire. It's quite a great desire, in fact. And the desire is to be wanted, admired and in awed. There is always the desire to have beauty or just something to cause people to be in awe over and over again, to cause people to be interested in. I guess that's why girls at such a tender age of puberty would thrive and boast about the number of guys interested in them, the number of guys that dated then and the number of boyfriends they have before. It somehow puts up the statistics of how much they are wanted and desired. It is not that they lost the sense of looking for love to fill their heart. Sometimes other satisfactions are being thrived on so much that the real need is suppressed until the disappointment of finding that to not be satisfying sinks in then they realise their true need.

Women of all ages have that desire in their heart. That is why many still struggles and would satisfy themselves with whichever guy that shows some bit of interest in them. If not, they would do other things to try to get guys to be attracted and interested in them. Others, try to smother this desire in them and act as if they don't care while they really, really do. I guess the ones that are not really bothered about that are the girls who have a secure identity that is built by the presence of their fathers who played their role in their lives. I will not go into the specific parenting stuff about this because I am not so sure also. I heard from my mentors who are adults who told me that fathers have an important role if a daughter's later life (as in nearing puberty and around teen years until the young adult age) to help build a secure identity in their daughters by affirming them that they are beautiful and loved and so on (which I am not so sure also because I am yet a parent).

And as for me, honestly I am always thinking of this. I, for one, do not like having crushes because I know that I will get my own heart hurt by having hope that one day I will turn at least a head, one day a great guy will come, or one day the one I have a crush on would have the same feelings too. For years I wonder why I never had a boyfriend, why no one has a crush on me, why no one is interested in me. I used to blame on my lack of sense of fashion, then I blame it on my weight and then I blame it on my boring personality. But throughout the years I did change to be a more cheerful and fun person, I can dress up nicely and I do believe I am not that fat. I am still working on my weight and I will surely succeed. But I feel that it takes more than all that to attract the right guy, the right good guy. I have my standards of guys whom are acceptable to me too. Was tempted to lower my standards but I realise that I worth more than that and the standards are not too high anyway. ;)

There was once a girl who seriously told me that to attract a guy, we must always look nice, hair must be always tied nicely, must be slim. But now, I would quote from pastor what he said about talents and character and change it to fit this context. Pastor said that talents and gifts can take us to great heights, only character will keep us there. As for here, good looks can attract guys but good character keeps them by your side. ;)

And again, I forgot whether I mentioned here before (I tend to be like that O.O sowie... :P) that if someday I shall fulfil that "prophecy" by MrBigMouthRadio that by the time I graduate, I will walk on stage looking like Gisele Bundchen,

thin and beautiful and all (and I will, you'll see) I will forever remember the things I've observed about some guys when I am not so attractive now. That some guys only talk to pretty girls. Some guys only add pretty girls on facebook like THIS guy whom I found commenting on one of my friend's page and check out his list of friends. Thousands of girls with pretty pics. They are more like stalkers than admirers. Who knows what he is doing when he looks at their pictures every night. Scary, right?

For now, all I would do is work on my physical self as to be pretty to satisfy my own eyes (and so that I can enjoy all the pretty dresses and clothes xD oh and by the way, I checked my weight finally and found out that I am now 66.7kg instead of the previous 69!!! =D) and also, more importantly, chase my dreams, build my character and my heart towards God and put finding Mr. Right as the least of my worries and be a confident and capable lady which I know will have the aura that God will help emit to attract the right kind of guys. ;) and guys who are not worth my time? Shall go straight into the bin.

Tiene una bien dias!