Dilemma

Actually it is not so much of a dilemma just that I will have to make changes that might alter my relationships as well as lifestyle. 

As one by one, our results for our first test is revealed, I can't help but wonder if I have been slacking too much. It is also a general feeling that I have been wasting a lot of time since almost ALL the time we have out of class is spent on movies, chatting, gossiping, spending money and going out. Except when we had to study for our first test and complete our assignments. Although there's the element of sports this semester but other than our compulsory night class of sports, we hardly get our butts off our chairs to go jogging. 

I haven't been studying properly, floated in and out of classes and half the time I don't know what the lecturer is talking about. I especially hate co-curriculum theory class because it is in jumbled up BM and it is just lists and lists of things to memorize like duties of the adviser for co-curriculum activities etc. But I only have four subjects this semester, what other excuses can I give? 

I think I should buck up and study more. Wasted too much time even to the point that I feel like I am running out of movies to watch. I don't even feel like watching movies anymore. It just doesn't felt right wasting so much time. I don't feel fulfilled watching them.

And so much talk about having a big dream? If I don't buck up and waste this semester that is easy to score, seriously what kind of testimony am I showing? 

Dory, your ways of studying is different from others. Your pace is different from others. Others can study last minute and score. You know you need time. You are brilliant but you still need to fulfill your duty to study. Why fear what others will say or do when they know you are studying hard? They are scoring but you are not. Why the hell care about them? You do well, you score, you are happy and you did well. What else matters? 

Stop wasting time. Time is too precious to spare. So many other things to do that are beneficial! Don't waste time anymore. Do well. HS is already leading in your heart. Follow the right voice, the right leading. Do well.