1 January 2011 - Full Assurance

These few months are my favourite <3 December with Christmas, January with Chinese New Year :) Somehow to gist of celebrating my birthday is... not there now. But I still love January and I love January 10. It is my day and I love looking at that familiar date everywhere xD And now I get to enjoy seeing January which seemed like so long ago.

I miss you, January. You know that? ;)

January. 1. Beginnings. Beautiful. :) Yes I love January. <3

Actually, I diverged. It was not my intention to talk about January just that when I set it as the title for this post, I got caught up and I just realized that it is Jelly Joyous January xD

Studied had and played real hard today. And can you believe that I am going out tomorrow? First two papers are on Tuesday. I don't feel like studying for theater. Kind of phobia about it. But I'll be able to do it later. I just gotta drag meeself to do it. So that tomorrow I can have guiltless fun. Wohoho.

Anyways, today I watched a YouTube video which reminded me about the few times when I was met face to face with... I don't know how to describe it. Not really near death experiences but something of that sort like crossing the road and then suddenly I realize that I am in the path of a speeding car, once a motorbike was speeding towards me although the road was so wide, riding in a car and another car or motorbike nearly hitting my side of the car, the university buses nearly hitting me... these kinds of incidents. And the thing that wonders me is that in those times like when I saw the motorbike coming towards me, I was not afraid at all. I did not freak out nor did I panicked. I was at complete peace with no stir within me. Like, dead rock peace.

My friends would have squealed of give a howl of horror in those situations but somehow I am at total peace. I am not sure if there are other factors but what I feel is that deep in my heart I believe that nothing will happen to me that will jeopardize my life nor put my life in danger because my life is in God's hands and I have an assignment from God that I have yet to fulfill so my life will not be taken before then.

Few nights ago some friends invited me to "gossip" in one's room. I thought we will gossip but we talked about various topics and one serious topic that interests them so much that they delved into it for quite some time. This one friend had been going on and on about it lately with me too and she mentioned it then as well. They talked about 2012 being the end of the world and so on. That friend is an Indian, a Hindu and the other two friends are Malays so in Malaysia naturally, Muslims. So they were going on and on about their religious views of how the world would end, whether they believe it or not. Of course I have my own personal views according to my religion. What I wasn't very satisfied was, they somehow ask me for my opinion, whether I believe the world ends on 2012 or not then when I started talking and give my views no matter how short it was, they interrupted and talk about their own. Other stuff, I would not comment more here but yeah, I don't feel like talking since they rudely interrupt and would not let me talk. I guess it is how the world is now. And when asking the Hindu about their after life, it is very sad to hear that they don't even have an afterlife. But with all those talk about the world ending, the idea about re-birth sounds pretty not plausible anymore even to them. I think that's why she has been talking and thinking about it a lot now. She mentioned it to me more than 3 or 4 times now.

And the other thing is, if they are so secure in their religion that they have a religion and the religion says that they will go to heaven, why are they still so scared when talking about the end of the world? When I hear them talk about whatever prophecies that they have and all those ideas, it sounds more like different people's opinions rather than from a solid source because they sounded like they hear those things from folk tales and they are not certain themselves.

So they kept talking on and on, I find no opening to talk about mine so I just sat there as they content themselves by comforting each other through sharing how scared they feel if the world is going to end in December 2012.

I am sure. I am not afraid. I don't know at what age I will die. I don't know when the world will end. But I know I am here for a reason and before I fulfill it, I will not die. It does not mean I will live irresponsibly or carelessly but that I am not afraid. If the plane I am travelling in would crash, I know I will survive somehow or the other. I am quite sure that the plan would not crash because I am one with a divine mission. And one with a divine mission is protected. God is holding me and He set angels to surround me :) and even if I die, I will go heaven anyway. Haha.

I am one on a divine mission and I am determined to fulfill it with the best of my ability - work with God, through God, in God.