Crick, crack...

Using the new Blogger interface. Hmm... Need some getting used to. But the happy part is that it shows a whole lot of space rather than the old one which is a nice thing :) Now we have a lot more white space to fill in! :D

Well, there's this thing going on in my batch this semester. There is this lecturer who's good. I like her classes although she gives us pressure and calls us names and sudden presentations that forces us to read and analyse.

Today she sounded something that has been lingering in my batch for two years. It is amazing how she can fish it out in just 5 weeks, meaning 9 times of seeing us ONLY in class. Our group is very disintegrated. There are very obvious and tight cliques.

I would honestly say, we have been working to be nicer to each other now. There are so much cat fights throughout the semesters that the cracks caused are so big that trust cannot be established. I mean like, how can trust be established when those bullies pick on people, alienate them and back stab them, slashing the knife in, slashing again and again, slashing the knife in and turn it around, grinding the inner parts, take it out and slash it in again.

I can forgive them. But to trust them again? I don't know. Most of them never change. Selfish and talking bad about people, they are still doing that. It's like they never open up their mind.

I'm sorry, it's not that I don't want to befriend them but what happened in the past has been too traumatic to be forgotten just like that. I can share and help them. But to trust them, to depend on them, to open up to them, I don't think so.

Even for my current circle, I get insecure because I have to always be watchful. Watchful for the signs of things that might happen that might cause hurt. Who would want to be open and foolishly go through life and let themselves be hurt over and over again? I want to trust them. I have opened up myself to them. But if unpromising signs continue to come, how can I not take precaution to protect myself from hurt?

So yeah, these are the things going on now. And now my roommate is frustrated shouting on her phone to her boyfriend who's trying to teach her on the things she needs to study for her test tomorrow. I wonder how am I going to sleep now. It's 1.33am.

Nite.