The happiest of all is that in 3 days time I'll be heading home!!! xD Haha! And the next phase of excitement continues then! I feel so like running or flying zooming across the skies right now! xD Besides that I feel like writing another narrative. :)
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She walked across the hallway towards the exam hall. Her course mates were all there. They're all just sitting there doing last minute revisions. Some were chatting, some fervently reading while others looked rather bedazzled perhaps from the lack of sleep.
As she neared them, no one greeted her. Some looked away, some didn't bother to look at her while the rest continued revising. She found a seat a little away from them. They were a little too crowded and perhaps too noisy for her comfort. Besides, she doesn't feel that comfortable being with them because she doesn't feel that she belonged there or was welcomed there. So she sat a little away from them, doing her own stuff, getting her heart ready for the exam.
They don't talk to her, they don't look at her. Even at food courts, some still have the courtesy to greet her politely but that particular group just ignored her completely like she is invisible. She tried hard to ignore what has been done to her but sometimes it does get to her. What once holds acceptance and companionship now lay broken, cold and thrown away completely. She had to delete their photos from her photo albums because they hold so much memories. She had to block them from viewing her blog, her posts on facebook and her photos because they hurt her too much and they never stopped, never forgave. She did try to work at building bridges but she only find them all burned down by them again. All she can do now is to work at letting go and try to survive her university life without them.
"God, am I so wretched and so hateful? Did I make such a big mistake that it is unforgivable?" she constantly asked herself when she saw them.
"Am I so hard to live with? Am I so bad?"
She didn't get any answers. Yet that group keep recruiting new members for their Hate Group. The more she thinks about it, the more the burden that she felt is being added and unbearable. She felt that she could break down and go mad. But she held on. There's God, there's church friends who enjoy her company, makes her laugh and loves her dearly and there are more back home that loves her and welcomes her home. She doesn't have to listen to all those who are against her. They are not worth her friendship.
When it's time to enter the exam hall, she went in with confidence, finished her paper and with excitement, came out the first because she knows she has done her best and walked proudly out of the hall with a nod from her beloved lecturer. She was all smiles. They did not affect her nor will she let them bring her down anymore. She thought about all her loved ones and she smiled. Her Father in Heaven also smiled. A tingling came into her heart as His joy fills her. She remembers that tomorrow she's going out again to taste one of Malaysia's famous must-taste food- Ampang Yong Tau Fu. She smiled once more. Then she had to suppress a squeal as she thought about her going home and another phase of excitement starting soon.
And that's how she is surviving right now. Although she will cry when she thought about those broken relationships, she can still stand strong knowing God is holding her and all of you out there that loves her is there for her.
I love each one of you.
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