Happy 5th Anniversary!
Haha. I started blogging much earlier I think. It started with Multiply. And then, it came to this and a more mobile one in the future ;)
Study, study. Thoughts about those people still came into mind. Now it's about the one who is in the same room as me.
"You are not as good as you think you are and you are not as bad as they say you are."
Perhaps I should rebuke and renounce that because that is not who I am. That is what she say. And she wouldn't have stood by me if I wasn't her roommate. There are lots more other thing she say but I delete them because those are not the truth about who I am and what I am thinking. It is their point of view and no one bothers to come to see my world from my lenses and no one bother about me. With my efforts for one year gets shoved into the bin just like that, I don't think it is worth investing anymore. The return is just not worth it. Besides, all my investments, pure ones, are seen as dirty, evil and full of bad intentions.
So why bother?
I hate the word DITCH. It's the verb that she used about what they did to me.
What for I listen to her whose values come from movies and tv shows?
(One of her principles in life is, if you get married and is not happy, you divorce and find another one. She gets that in Desperate Housewives and she is going out with a married man with 3 kids and a wife whom he claimed to be not his first choice.)
My weakness would be, I find it hard to not be transparent. No matter how annoyed I feel towards others, somehow the message just gets across. I want to be transparent. But now I learn that one key thing about growing up is what I saw from Rick Warren's tweet
"I fear no critic but I do fear my sinful desire to react in ways that would dishonor Jesus, forfeit anointing &waste time"
From hiding behind a hard, multi leveled shell to being transparent... it is a hard struggle.
The thing that happened was, I don't vent what I feel towards the person involved because firstly, I don't like confrontations. And secondly, I don't think it is constructive, and I don't want to hurt the person because I have not mastered the art of telling the truth in love. I think. Then, needing somewhere to vent, I express it to certain other people or here. And the big mouthed people who do not understand and LOVES TO STALK PEOPLE and LOVES TO MISINTERPRET THINGS goes to tell EVERYBODY that I am a hypocrite.
And the story goes round and round and round.
Welcome to my uni life. Welcome to the world of narrow minded West Malaysians. Or should I put it more appropriately, welcome to the world of brokenness.
WHO IS COOKING IN COLLEGE AND WHERE DOES THE SMELL OF NICE FOOD COME FROM?!!! Bad timing for me who's on a strict diet.
Diet day 5. Results of the diet is still yet to be seen yet :( BUT don't care la. Give it 3 weeks then see how. If not I go back and continue to eat my kampua. :P
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