Reflections and Lessons

Reading my previous posts is a good reflection of what I have gone through. I can see my condition, who and how I am when I wrote that post especially the posts I wrote about myself, expressing how I am. And from there, I see the changes I have been through and the things I learnt from the various things I went through.

God has been faithful. God has always been there. God has been my tower, my refuge, my guide, the voice I can hold on in the midst of the storms and hardships in life.

I went into the 2nd semester full of hope and expectations, to do well in studies, to enjoy friends, to grow much in the Lord (in any areas possible), to enjoy travelling and so much more things that goes unstated. But in short I believed God answered my prayer. I did studied my butt off for my studies and God will bring it through; God led me through two big crisis in major relationships in university in which I was greatly humbled and revealed of the can of worms I had in my heart that need cleansing and renewing; God taught me fears I need to conquer concerning relationships which is vital for all relationships to work - fear of confrontation; God taught me the essence of maturity - to be able to self-minister and not depend on others and ask from others all the time like a baby... I guess that's all I can come up with for now.

Many things to work on, many more things to continue growing in and developing. This month at home would be a good time of rejuvenating before going back into the world again.

The previous semester is deeply painful. I don't know how many times I've cried. I've mourned over the death of friendships, I've cried of the pain of betrayal, I've cried over the sense of abandonment when all friends left me. I beat my heart as I sought the Lord during the confusion the people throw me in and would not enlighten me of. I beat my heart and humble myself, open and broken before the Lord as he revealed the brokenness and the weeds and dirt that is so ugly that I couldn't believe my eyes.

I went to Camp Cameron. I found myself full of spiritual pride, selfishness and a stubbornness that repels others. I'm working on to change that nature of mine, to grow the fruit of the spirit.

God is still revealing more as I walk step by step following Him. It isn't easy but it is definitely necessary. God is gentle and patient, not to mention powerful and loving! :D