About May...

Sometimes the heart will be filled with this "emotion". I labelled it as "emotion" because I don't want to salah tafsirkan it. (Apa salahnye guna bahasa campur bila u berada di Malaysia? It proves you to be a Malaysian! xD)

Last time I would confuse it as loveeeeee... and I will salah crush on people and get things so messed up that I just want to dig a hole and bury myself. Then other times I would categorize it as pure joy that streams from within because it makes me want to jump and scream and squeal and dance all around and people will sure say that I am mad. Then when I quieten down myself, I feel a sense of longing and some sourness in the chest. Lol. THE HEART LA. Then if I am to think of it, it could be said as a warm fuzzy feeling. Confusing, right? That's why sometimes I just disregard it and just enjoy it, listening to music and dancing and smiling away without thinking about anything in particular. It is not always that a guy is involved. It may just be little simple things. :)

This coming week I will be involved in something new compared to the things I was involved in in the past weeks. I found out that Uncle Sam will be around and he'll train some people to do the Freedom in Christ camp and then there will be a camp after it. I asked Godmother whether I can join and she said yes. So the classes will start tomorrow evening, every evening until Friday when the camp will start and ending on Sunday afternoon. It will be an awesome thing to learn as I can be equipped to know how to do it and help anyone who needs it any time, any where. I don't have to call back and ask how to do it and it can't be explained through the phone either.

So finally I am sitting myself down and writing about my previous month outstation.

On the first week of May, I went to Penang for a week. I stayed with Auntie Annie and her family which have been great hosts, taking good care of me and making so much effort to bring me around Penang and tasting the various heavenly food of Penang. I thoroughly enjoyed my time there. I get to meet up with Auntie Sook Chan and Uncle Chin. All of them came to Sibu more than a year ago to help out in the Freedom in Christ camp. Auntie Sook Chan and Uncle Chin both help baptise me in the Holy Spirit and receive the gift of tongues. :)

Then I left Penang for Cameron for Camp Cameron organised by Fellowship of Evangelical Students. I didn't had any expectations of it because I don't have much information about it. All I knew was that we would have families and there will be in-dept bible study or something and writing notes to people that kind of thing. So I just have an open heart and open eyes to look out for good and new things and to get the best out of it.

During the first week (there was three weeks in camp), there was the excitement of knowing the family I'm in. I joined in with the fun, having lame jokes and everything and laughing at everything. It was totally awesome. The morning Chronicles of God and His Kingdom series for the first week was enriching as God was revealed in His fullness of His love through the Old Testament. God of second chances... I will remember. Other sessions like Wordilicious Investigators were okay too, introducing us to a thorough study of the scriptures. And with thorough, I do mean thorough, studying each word, each character, mood, emotion, meaning, message and cultural context and lots more. I admit I wasn't keen on those sessions because I have been lazy doing such study on the Word and I don't see the need to do it because there are so many books and references around. I do remember the first day in camp. For the first time in my life I freaked out about the place. I was so freaked out that I can't concentrate on the night session that first day and was not in an okay mood. It was caused by the flooding toilet in the Neriton dining hall. I stepped into the water because I couldn't find the light switch and I was desperate to pee. Horrid horrid feeling. I got disappointed by the games session because it was such a blur and there was supposed to have meaning behind the game but it was conducted in such a rush of chaos that we just barely survived without understanding anything. And even with the attempts to attach meanings to what we experienced, it was so bleak that it couldn't be done. But the sessions were good. The night sessions on Redeeming Relationships with self was not much for me because God dealt with it already. But it was good for the others because it was new for them.

During the second week, a speaker I seriously do not like came. Thank God he spoke for only one or two sessions. Then he left. His preachings are all disorganised and confusing. Everyone were confused after his sessions. After that there were new speakers including great grandpa! His were awesome! God spoke several things that reminded me of key things in life that I have forgotten like the fruit of the spirit and life of a spirit-filled. Time to pick them up again. The night sessions of Redeeming Relationships with others were good. And again God has dealt with those things in my life so it was okay for me but a couple of sessions did spoke to me concerning my way of dealing with people and the need to change. I have this fear of confronting people and expressing dissatisfaction. Time to face the ugliness and change. Even in the family, it was a hard time because as fatigue comes in and the initial excitement fades, There are lots of things in this week that opened my eyes. God is seriously shifting people with an open heart even though they are from traditional churches. The way they do things are eye opening and thoroughly unexpected and amazing. God is seriously gracious and overwhelming.

The third week was the thoroughly amazing week. I think great grandpa's sessions were this week. I guess I got too excited about it until I mentioned it in the second week xD The Reedeeming Relationships with the world was seriously awesome and super eye opening. It was thoroughly exciting to know that God is raising up people in traditional churches to move in His newest movement although they are not aware of it! It is thoroughly enriching. Lots of hard and big decisions were made. God is still speaking. Grandma talked to me on week 2, ask me how I am finding the camp. I did tell her honestly how I felt about things especially WI. Then she challenge me to think more and be more open and to see the bigger picture. She helped me open up and really see other things, that perhaps it's really time to do serious personal bible study because I have been lazy and dependent on references and ready-made notes and books. Then the WI for this week had been eye opening also as we really study and dissect the scriptures and found so much more than the surface words tell. So it's finally time for this also. Uncle Sam did tell me before to be less dependent on books but to read the bible itself last year. Perhaps it's time. Moving on to maturity!

To be continued... so long already leh. :P