So yesterday FESTINA is done and gone now. It went quite smoothly and I am happy that everyone enjoyed themselves. Through this event I learnt many things, seen many things and get to know more things about some people too. There are lots of stressful times and lots of enjoying times. Last night's aftermath was very fun especially after cleaning up everything together then we were camwhoring for some time in the executive room which was quite grand inside. Perhaps I'll upload some photos when I'm back for CNY (which is very soon!).
With exams nagging my mind, it's getting rather crazy. Anxiety, panic, cold sweat, fear... all rolled into one. Every time only when rushing to do revision I only realised that I should have done a lot of things. I should have read those text and made notes instead of doing it only right before exam so that I can just revise and it would have been so much easier. But this time it happened again. All the rush and the blurriness all crashed in and I have to run and chase after my studies. Events.. yes, it's okay to join. It's just the matter of balancing my time. I wasted quite some time on games the past two weeks. :( And also on other things. Sigh. I wonder how those people have super brains to cram everything in last minute while joining so many activities and then get super good results.
Lately pastor keep preaching, "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail." So true. I need to buck up even more especially after this time which I failed to plan enough. It should be a lesson I learn and not be repeated again. I can't afford to keep chasing and getting unnecessarily stressed just because I failed to plan and then I fail all together! I need to plan even better!
Putting my past failures of bad studying in primary and secondary school times, I need to strive to develop very good studying skills so that I can excel. I can do well, I know. I just need to really know how to plan well. Hmm... should I get a mentor to help? I'll consider again when I'm more free. Now I have to rush to revise for tomorrow's paper. And I have to remember to plan well when I am free instead of procrastinating the planning and then I don't get to plan well at all. Sigh. Bad habits. Must be changed!
Other than studies, God is now seriously working on my character and behaviour. It hasn't been the easiest journey yet. Breaking forth from my shell, breaking from my comfort zone, doing the hardest things... like being gracious to people especially on things and attitudes that I cannot stand at all, not hating people for failing to return the love and sacrifice I make, love people, really, really love people according to God's definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13... it hasn't been easy at all. But I got to see some of the effects. Last week I was sulky and all about all that. Then when I woke up and realised and decided to try to change, things just worked out for the better and almost everything went into place. I got my friends back, I am happier and there's less negativity around which makes it easier to breathe.
Sometimes its easier to ignore all the little petty things rather than to hate people and get annoyed with all the most little things. But of course, there are things that are really annoying and really irritating like people being rude and inconsiderate. But what to do? This is a fallen world, we can't expect people to be nice anymore and we can't depend on them totally. They'll disappoint us again and again and all we can ever do is look up to heaven and hold on to the hope that God is coming soon and that God is there and He's the one we can hold on and depend on all the time.
Forgive others as He has forgiven, love others as He as loved, be gracious to others as He has been gracious, take hope in Him, for our efforts He'll see.
Now, must go back to study!!!
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