Regression and suppression.

I love Fridays. Other than getting to go cell group at night, it is one of the days when I get to have free time (most of the Fridays are free. Most.) and I get to just relax and read the bible, worship with worship songs, read Christian books and just rest and regenerate. Those were the blessed days. And these few days I was reading this awesome e-book entitled "Haunted Houses Ghosts and Demons". I was entirely about spirits and demons but it is a well balanced book with awesome teachings. There are a number of things that are very valuable that I've found today. (Finished the book :P) They are at the seven steps to demon possession part. What I want to highlight today is 2 steps namely regression and suppression.

Regression is to withdraw, to decrease or to backslide. It is the opposite to progression. So if we are not moving on to where the Holy Spirit leads, then we are moving backwards. [To regress in the human personality is to go backward in spiritual force and power. The human person is built for progressive life, an advancing life, and an understanding life.] "Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord." - 2 Cor 3:17-18.

So far I have been talking about myself moving on from my previous church to the present church, and also the things the Holy Spirit has been leading me on and on and teaching me. I also experienced how it was to stop progressing. It is like the life has been choked out of me and that life is really hard to live without God and fresh new water to pour into my gills. I felt like a fish out of water. But once I am revived in CHC, my life has no longer been the same. Life has come back and I am excited for cell group and church every week. Praying doesn't feel so dry any more and life is more bearable and filled with more joy. The difference is very big and I never liked the dry days. Other than that, isn't it awesome to be moving "from glory to glory"? To receive new fresh waters and getting to higher ground?

The other one I wanted to talk about is suppression. The dictionary defines suppression as "to squeeze down abnormally." Suppression also means to conceal, as to suppress information , feelings and desires. It is like when we feel really excited and jumpy during praise and worship, we make ourselves stand firm on the ground like a rock instead of jumping and praising God. Other than that, it is when the Holy Spirit gives us an information to tell yet we keep wondering whether it is from God or not and don't speak out.

The first time I dealt with suppression in me is in the Wealth Transfer conference back home when Prophet Micah was leading worship and everyone is jumping about and dancing. Suddenly there was a huge strong urge in me, urging me to jump and dance but I held myself firm because I never danced especially with a whole gang of adults that don't jump with me. The urge was so strong, it was from God. After suppressing a few minutes, it was gone. Then I got really worried. It was God urging me and I didn't obey. I am worried that God will not tell me what He wants me to do any more. Then I started dancing and tears just came. God's presence just flow tremendously and joy just filled my heart.

Reading this part twice, the same thought came into my mind - Hair and Make-up ministry recruitment for Emerge. My heart felt like, I am dying to join it! Yet at the same time I felt like crying because I thought about the factors that kind of prevents me to join. I was considering the time commitment, the transport arrangements and also my plane ticket home which is before the Emerge conference. There was a time span of a week between the first time I read this part about suppression and the second time. During that time, in my mind, I was considering and thinking. Time commitment I believe I can fork out some time to join and balance my time. Transport arrangement, cell leader said she can fetch me. Then the biggest factor would be the plane ticket. This came back the second time I read the passage today. I felt this huge thing in me pushing so hard, wanting to join so much. In the end I just called up my mum. Talked to her about it and she said she will talk to travel agents about the extra charges for changing flight dates. Now have to pray for cheap fares so that I can stay. After the call, this heavy feeling in my heart is gone. Now to wait for God to work or something.

It is not totally confirmed yet. Time to submit name for that ministry is by tonight before midnight. Will talk to cell leader about it then we'll see how it goes with the ticket unconfirmed. To suppress the Holy Spirit and His leading will stifle it. To loose it is a very, very sad thing because I strive to be a spirit-led child of God, obeying His guidance and His leading. So we'll see what happens.